How do you make time for self-care?
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I’m not very good at making time for myself.
I’ll go out once I’ve answered this. Once I’ve finished that. There’s always one more small thing, and I keep believing it will only take five minutes. Then I look at the time.
So, usually, making time for myself means closing the computer with something still pending. I find that surprisingly difficult. I can spend far too long deciding whether I can spare half an hour. Long enough that I could have gone out and come back.
Taking the camera helps. It gives me a reason to leave, although I’m slightly annoyed that I seem to need one. Nobody expects you to justify going out for bread. Going out to look at things feels harder to explain. Mostly to myself, I should say. Nobody is actually standing at the door demanding an itinerary.
Once I’m outside, I start noticing things. Someone lingering in a doorway, a reflection, two people apparently having very different afternoons. Most of it never becomes a photograph. I’m too slow, or the background is a mess, or it turns out there wasn’t much there in the first place. I still like looking.
It doesn’t work every time. Sometimes I’m three streets away and still having the same tedious argument in my head. But then something catches my attention and, for a bit, I lose my place in it. That’s a relief.
The awkward part is what I do afterwards. I want to see the photographs. Fair enough. Then I want to edit one, find a title, decide where it belongs, put it on the website, prepare the posts. Suddenly there’s a list again. I’ve managed to give a walk an administration department.
I enjoy that work too, which complicates things. I don’t always notice when I’ve stopped enjoying it and started trying to get through it.
I’m trying to get better at leaving a photograph unedited for a while. Letting a message wait. Taking whatever time is available without first clearing enough space for some ideal, uninterrupted afternoon. Twenty minutes will do. On some days I remember this early enough to use them.
And I’d like to come home without immediately checking whether I got anything worth keeping. I’m less good at that. The camera is right there.
For now, I’m still beside a wall, waiting for someone to walk into the light. Someone does, and I’m too slow. I mutter something and stay a little longer.
Mixed Reviews — Small Dramas
Leica M10 Monochrom · Elmarit-M 28mm f/2.8 ASPH.



















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